Life isn't Always
by AustralianStarkid
Summary: This is the Story of Johanna Mason. "Life isn't always - It isn't always easy, It isn't always fair, but the one thing I have learnt about life, is that it most certainly isn't always what it seems." This story starts the day before her reaping and will show my depiction of the background events of her life. Mockingjay and Catching Fire spoilers. Rated T for adult themes/language.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Guys, I thought I would just muck around and wrote this. I know it seems incomplete but that is because I wrote approximately 4000 words and this was the only place I could think to split it. The next installment will be up shortly. Please review if you enjoy it. **

Lightning illuminated the sky through the branches of the trees above my head. Immediately, through instinct I began to count the seconds between the flash and the earth shaking sound that was to follow.

_"One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six" _

The vibration of the noise seemed to penetrate my bones due to its intensity. The air has this feeling about it and although no rain has yet appeared, I know it is coming. I guess after seventeen years of practically living in the forest you are expected to at least understand weather and the way it works with our environment.

It is fairly dark for five o'clock in the afternoon but with storm clouds blocking the sun, it seems reasonable. Really, I should move now and avoid the risk of catching an temporary illness, but I figure tomorrow will go one of two ways: I will either be able to go home in the afternoon and sleep off whatever sickness I may contract, or my name will appear on a tiny slip of paper pulled from a stupidly large glass bowl and thus I will be shipped off to the Capitol, where they will with no doubt shove various concoctions down my throat until I am better.

Another flash and crash caused by the storm filled up my senses. Currently, I'm in no immediate danger apart from my enemy, time, slowly bringing closer my inescapable fate. I lay my head back against the rough bark of the oak and close my eyes. The soil around the roots is loose enough to allow my fingers to bury themselves beneath the surface. I have always loved the smell of the forest, and the rain, and dirt. I don't often get to adventure here on my own but of course, the day before the reaping is generally spent setting up 'the festivities' in the town square where which very few lumberjacks are required. As I am under the age of eighteen, I was released from those responsibilities.

There are several career paths in District Seven. Yes, the Capitol has so generously given us several tree related activities where from the age of ten you can choose in what area you wish to apply yourself for the rest of your measly life. By 'choose' I mean its compulsory, unless you are lucky enough to have enough money to be excused, or you have gone through trials that state you are 'unfit' to work. That option is generally only available for the pregnant, elderly or disabled. The wealthy are predominately from merchant households. I guess the Capitols requirements of the luxury that is paper and furniture is more important than the education and lifestyle of District 7's children. Mind you, we are talking about the same Capitol that shoves a group of twenty-four children into an area to fight to the death, so I guess a failed education system is hardly inexcusable.

In the summer season of every year, the newly aged ten year olds are taken into the forest by peace keepers and given axes. Over six weeks, basic training is given to everyone and a trial is held to see who is best with an axe and logging equipment. Those who qualify, such as myself, are recruited as lumberjacks. The strongest are trained as load pullers and lead climbers. The weaker and more sensitive children are placed in paper factories or start learning trades such as furniture building and carpentry.

Another crack of thunder reverberated in the air around me. The sound was barely three seconds after the flash this time; meaning the lightning struck a few three miles away. A drop of water fell against my spiky hair heavily. I look up squinting through the darkness. Suddenly, three more drops fall onto my cheeks and roll down my neck. I look down again as drop followed by continuous drops begin to fall heavily on my skin. I sigh deeply. The rain struck my skin like icy needles yet I refuse to acknowledge any thought of movement. Going home only means facing an anxious family. I mean, they are positive enough and tougher than most but I think all families with kids can't help but be worried on days like today. As I turned seventeen the other day my name is in the pool six times. My two elder brothers, my dad and myself are all lumberjacks: the highest paying lumber concentrated profession. Though our pay is still small, we are middle class and one of few lucky families that have been able to avoid tesserae, even after my mother's passing. This also allowed for my younger sister to remain the sensitive soul that she is. Every year, I become more and more eager to just slip through the cracks for another year and avoid the reaping but each new slip of paper added to that bowl makes it harder for me to believe it will be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey here is chapter two, I hope you enjoy it. Once again, it may seem incomplete. I'm splitting it into readable sections and slowly editing as I come to each part. Please review, it is much appreciated. Just for your notice, this will be a long fic, and I don't plan on abandoning half way through. It's just a way of me doing what I enjoy. I completely understand if you don't enjoy it and still feel free to let me know. I enjoy feedback. Thanks everyone! **

Finally, I breathe in and will my body to move. By now, the rain has soaked through my jacket and into my skin leaving my clothes clinging to my body. It dawns on me how cold it has been sitting in the rain. Steadily, I begin to embark back to my family home but I have to pass through town to get to the forest outside which it sits. The lights of the town in the distance are similar to the way warm flickering candles look in darkness. As I become closer, I hear the rain drumming on the roof that covers the market place. I tread carefully, barefoot along the loose gravel street where water has already begun to gather. I pull into merchant's lane where most retailers have permanent residency to pick up a hunk of venison in preparation for the feast my family is hoping to have tomorrow night. It's a tradition; ever since Rayner, my eldest brother, went through his first reaping day.

A wave of warmth strikes me as I walk into the butchery. I nod politely toward the butcher who grins back at me. He automatically knows why I'm here and from behind the counter he pulls a large parcel and places it into a hessian bag.

"A little late this year aren't we Johanna," I cringe at the use of my full name and pull out my coin pouch slamming harder than intended on the counter, "I almost sold your meat to Vander, the old carpenter from down the street." We both know he wouldn't. Everyone's a little sentimental during this period; even those without children.

"Ah but you wouldn't do that to a poor girl who has to face the horrors of tomorrow, would you Stebensio?" I coy in a sarcastic manner. Despite how anxious we all are about the reaping, we can't help but laugh. It's that option or cry.

"Ah well, how could I be that cruel to such a loyal customer? How's your father holding up?"

"Fine. His leg gives him grief but he is still working."

My father lost his leg in an accident a few years back. He was on duty when an uncoordinated twelve year old misjudged his axe work and a tree came crashing down without warning. A girl my age was standing in the way of the falling tree and he ran to push her out of range. Instead of crushing her, the tree crushed his leg. It was amputated and ironically replaced by a tree. A wooden mechanism called a prosthesis now attaches to the flesh just above where his knee used to be. He still cuts trees, but he moves a lot slower than before.

"You're wetter than I remember you as well." Stebensio chuckles.

"Haha." I reply with sarcasm laced throughout my words. "I am sure it's just your imagination."

I haul the bag over my shoulder and tuck away my coin pouch. I turn to leave when a dark haired boy enters the shop. He is wearing a black woolen hooded jumper and is barely wet despite the rain now thundering down outside. I turn to look a Stebensio.

"Why, if it isn't my lucky day. Two idiots in a matter of five minutes." The boy looks up and grins. His dark eyes gleamed as he shook his hair off his face.

"Well if it isn't little Joh." He replied walking forward and rustling my hair. He pulled back feigning disgust. "Ergh, why are you all gross?"

"Call me little Joh again and I might drop an oversize branch in your direction next time we are out on the field." I say pointedly, but he knows I'm messing around. "What are you doing here, Gaige?" I ask. Really it's a stupid question. He is here for the same reason as me. Gaige is my age but is about six foot three with a heap of muscle on him. To be honest, I am rather petite for a lumberjack, but I can work an axe with skill better than most. My father first shoved an axe in my hand when I was three, so most of town assumed that a career consisting of forest demolishment was the way my future was heading. Gaige is in my class at school when we aren't scheduled on duty, and he is in my lumber squad when we are. I don't really do the whole 'friend' thing, but he is kind of an exception.

"Same thing as you, loser." He retorts, but his cheeky grin betrays his words. "Why are you all wet and filthy?" I know he doesn't really have a problem with this. We see each other in our worse states constantly.

"Ugh! Why can't either of you two big noses stay out of the business that determines whether I am wet or dry?" I glare at both Gaige and Stebension. They both chuckle at this. I am not exactly an intimidating person, especially when my dark spikey hair is dripping waterfalls of leftover rain down my face. I turn angrily and set to storm from the shop. A hand sharply wraps around my wrist.

"Joh, I will see you tomorrow morning… before the reaping, yeah?" I pause for a moment, and nod. Gaige releases my wrist and I exit the shop with haste.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, Sorry about the delay. So here is how I originally intended to finish Chapter 1. So, Chapter 1, 2 and 3 basically is one full chapter. Anyways, Let me know what you think, Please? Thanks. Also, tell me if I am writing really Australian if that makes sense, as in language wise and such. **

The rain is still bucketing down. I curse aloud as I dart with the sack in my arms through the town toward the small plain on the other side. My house is on the edge of a small forestry area. As I approach, I see the windows are gleaming with warmth and glittering with light. I charge through the door with such enthusiasm that I immediately slip on the wooden floorboards with my damp feet and slam into the back of my brother, Janison. He turns quick enough to catch me before I hit the ground. The venison isn't so lucky and with a thump, it meets the timber floor.

"Watch out Joh." Janison says grinning cheekily. All of my family is fairly witty and unusually sarcastic, well with the exception of Leiah. Leiah is more of an introverted type. She gets that from our mother. The rest of us are nothing less than opinionative and rowdy. That's not a problem for Rayner, Janison or my father. Being loud seems to work in their favour for the whole town knows who they are and enjoys their company. However, for me, it's the contrary. My hothead and venomous tongue only ever seems to get me into trouble. Now don't get me wrong, I am not a violent person, I just don't like the idea of being used and ignored. I do get that from my father. We don't really take any shit from anyone. I guess it's one of reason I don't like having people around me, too many clashing opinions. As I stated before, Gaige is an exception. I have known him since I was seven and a lot has happened since then.

"Thanks Janison…" I reply but I can't hold eye contact. I can't help but feel a bit guilty. Guilty for not having confidence in tomorrow's results. Guilty for avoiding and abandoning my family on a day such as today. Guilty for the fear that overwhelms my heart and mind if I dwell on my circumstance for too long. Guilty for answering the next question he will ask me with a lie.

"Joh, are you okay?" I look up into his bright blue eyes that light up like the blowtorch the carpenters in town use occasionally, and are nothing like my own dark pools. Swallowing my sadness, I reply with two words which are perhaps the biggest lie I could tell.

"I'm fine Jani." I smile grimly before leaning down and hauling the hessian bag over my shoulder to proceed into the kitchen. As I walk in, I quickly wished I hadn't.

Rayner and my father were leaning against the wooden counter top discussing something in low voices. Rayner quickly darted his eyes in my direction before nudging my father in the ribs.

"Hey squirt," Rayner said affectionately. Rayner is twenty-two years old, Janison is twenty and Leia is eleven making this year the second in a row I have had to face a reaping alone. "Where have you been hiding?"

"I have been out with Gaige." I lie.

"Funny, he didn't seem like you were with him when he came looking for you about two hours ago." I look at them and simply reply with a shrug. He drops the topic.

"Did you pick up the meat for tomorrow night?" My father asks quickly. I nod heaving it onto the counter. I look at my father and Rayner and frown.

"Okay cut the crap, what's going on?" I demand with a hint of anger in my voice. They look at each other and then at me, although they can't keep my eye contact. "Spit it out."

"It's nothing. Forget it Joh." Rayner starts.

"I said tell-"

"Drop it Joh." Rayner remarks turning to exit. I go to grab his wrist but my father pulls me back.

"Just drop it kid." He says calmly. I huff with indignation and exit the kitchen to seek the comfort of my bedroom. My clothes are piled on my bed. At first I am confused, as I knew I was untidy but never to the extent of the pile that lay before me; however, then I saw the tangled mess of red hair poking out from within the mountain of clothes. Of course she was here.

"Leiah?" I stated. "What are you doing?" A startled movement caused the clothes to slowly topple off the bed, leaving a small girl with the ocean for eyes and a bushfire for hair curled up on my bed. I smiled to myself. Only Leiah would do something like that. It's quite foolish really, but I would never say that to her face. Our family accepts her weird ways without question. Maybe it's because she reminds us of mother. Maybe it's because she's the only one of us who has any hope of a proper childhood. Either way, it works.

"You weren't here…" Leiah mumbles into my pillow. A pang of guilt hits me and once again, I regret my previous forest adventure. "I just… I just wanted to be around your smell…" I sit on the bed with her and pull my knees towards my stomach.

"I'm sorry Lei. I had to do… things."

"It's alright, I get it Hanna." She's the only one who calls me Hanna. She's the only one who is allowed. I generally go by Joh. Johanna was my mother's name. Shortly after she passed, I cut it down. I couldn't bear the constant reminder; the constant reminder she was dead. I still can't. Mind you, I still have Leiah, who in herself is a little walking mirror of my mother.

We all feel a little guilty about my mother's death, not that it was really our fault, but preserving Leiah's innocence feels like we are helping the remaining memory of her existence.

"So, are you going to explain why you destroyed my room?" I grin at her slyly.

"I didn't destroy it!" Her freckled face peers up at me, her eyes determined and set on mine. She is sensitive, but feisty. "I simply wanted to be in your scent." She states as if this is the most logical idea. I feign disgust.

"But wasn't it you who once said I smell like moose poo and dirt?" I say breaking my character at the end and pulling her tight for a hug. By now, she is giggling. I fall back onto the bed sliding my hands under my head. I study the ceiling carefully; every crack, I try to memorise the very shade of green it is. After all, this could be the last time I ever do. I feel Leiah's eyes burning into my head. I realise she is probably trying to do the same thing to my face as I am doing to the roof. Out of nowhere, I feel a single tear slip from my eye. I am meant to be strong, I can't do this now. And sure enough, this single tear sends Leiah into hysterics. I sit up and pull her into my lap. I start stroking and platting her hair.

"It'll be okay Lei." I state confidently. "I promise."

"I know you can't promise something like that Hanna!" She chokes out through sobs. I pull her closer to me.

"Do you remember the story she used to tell us, Leiah?"

"Who? Mum?"

"Yes, the one about the girl that lived in the trees."

"Yeah, why?" She whispered.

"Remember that girl, always. No matter where you are, or I am, she will protect us." She nodded slowly.

"Can you tell me the story again?" I nodded in reply. We both lay down, resting our heads on the pillow. She began trailing her fingers along my face softly, once again trying to absorb all the information possible about being.

"Before there was the Capitol, before there was District 7, there was the girl who lived in trees…" I began.

It didn't take long for Leiah to drift off. However, for me, I knew it was going to be a long night ahead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Well it's only been like a year. Please review if you want more updates. **

It only took about an hour and a half of tossing fretfully in my bed for a sense of realisation to come over me; I knew there would be no chance of sleep tonight. Careful not to disturb Leiah, I steadily place my feet on the cool floorboards and pad down the hall. I sit on the ground in front of the fireplace, cross legged and childlike. It is free from man-made noise here and rather tranquil with the fireplace flashing its red reflections onto the ground whilst occasionally spitting a hot orange cinder into the still air. The rain still beat against the roof but the randomised crackles of burning wood gave me a false illusion of safety. I scoffed to myself. Since when have I ever really been safe?

_"District 7," _I thought, _"Where you can chop trees, haul trees, get crushed by trees to your hearts desires. You have a problem with the system, feel free to complain to the Peacekeepers; it's rather easy to arrange an 'accidental' lumber related injury. Feeling tired? Lucky we have a whole District to replace you once we shoot you through the head." _

The District has never been fair, nor has it ever been safe. Anyone who disobeys orders is shot on site. Anyone who doesn't show up to work without a Peacekeepers' consent is whipped with forty lashes in the town square. Stealing is punishable by death. Trespassing on Peacekeeper's grounds is punishable by death. Expressing interest in other districts that isn't in relation to The Hunger Games is punishable by death. Failure to report a disobedient citizen is punishable by death.

They take pleasure in making an example of the disobedient. To add to the irony of it all, they planted a tree in the centre of the town square. The Hanging Tree.

I hate it. I hate it all. I hate this stupid town. I hate that fucking tree. I hate the games.

"I hate the Capitol!" I say loudly and slam my curled fists on my legs. It shatters the silence that surrounded me. The anger and hatred has bubbled to every corner of my mind. I am breathing heavily, so engrossed in my thoughts that I don't even register the body that has moved into my peripheral vision.

"Careful Joh." He says. I startle however remain determinedly staring into the threatening red embers which once provided comfort but now only fuelled the vexation in my heart.

"What does it matter Rayner?" I growl. "What does it matter what they do to me now?"

"Don't say that, you may not even be reaped tomorrow." He sits beside me and follows my eye line toward the fire. "Joh, it's so unlikely."

"Don't play that shit with me Rayner. Not you too. You feel it. You and Pa. Even bloody Leiah feels it!" I replied irritated.

"What do you mean?"

"You all know I am going to be reaped tomorrow. And there is nothing any of us can do about it. I'm not an idiot; I know that's what you were talking about in the kitchen." Rayner looked deflated. I can tell I have gone too far. For a moment I think he is going to break down but I have never seen him cry, not even when our mother died and I doubt he is going to crack now. He sighs deeply before continuing.

"Joh, I am scared. I am not going to lie. You have to face tomorrow, alone. I remember that feeling, but I was twelve; my name was in there once. You, well your situations different. I can't lose you Joh. There is so much I want you to see; I want you to see me marry Ambrosia, I want you to see your future nieces and nephews, I want you to see an age when the Capitol doesn't exist." We both know his last wish is impossible, but we pretend it's a possibility when he takes my hand. He looks deep into my eyes and continues to speak slowly and firmly, as if he is trying to assure himself more than me. "Johanna Mason, I am scared, but you will not be reaped tomorrow. I promise you that you will see those things." He pauses and looks back into the fire, his eyes hardened. "But, if the time arises where I feel it necessary, I will tell you what was discussed in the kitchen tonight." He means if I am reaped, but I don't say that. I just lean against his shoulder and look back toward the fire.

"I'm sorry Rayner." I say softly.

"It's okay to be afraid." He replies gently.

I think that's what I needed to hear. I needed permission. The panic and anger lessens slightly and I soon find myself in a dazed trance; mesmerised by the smooth flickering tongues of fire licking the air above it. I felt secure, as if Rayners promise was one he could actually control. Before I knew it, I was drifting off to sleep. I felt his arms wrap around me and lift me as if I was weightless into the air. Carefully he placed me onto the couch and sat down on the ground beside me.

"Can you protect me, even if it's just for tonight?" I mumble tiredly at Rayner. I see him smile softly in reply.

"I will protect you always, Joh." With that comforting response, I achieve the impossible and slowly drift off to sleep.

I am rather disorientated when I wake. This is not my bed. This is not my room. It takes a few minutes to register and fully comprehend the previous night's events. Out of nowhere, the emotion hits me deep within my stomach. My throat clenches. I start to sweat. My heart races and my breathing increases rapidly. Today is the reaping. I remain lying on the couch, my eyes clenched shut. I just want to forget. I just want time to stop.

I timidly open my eyes. The sun is still rising so I am guessing it is still early enough to escape the house without worrying anyone. I quietly push myself up from the couch. Even if I grab my jacket, I should be able to make it through the door without my family noticing. However, I am mistaken. I forgot Rayner fell asleep on the floor next to the couch and immediately as I stand, I trip and fall to the floor. A loud groan escapes Rayners mouth.

"Good morning Joh." He grumbles. Although we usually all rise early due to our daily chores and duties, today we usually forget.

"Morning." I state bitterly. My plan has failed. I just wanted an hour alone, but really even that amount is too selfish to ask for.

"What's the rush squirt?" Rayner murmurs tiredly into the ground.

"No rush, just hungry." I lie. A figure emerges from the kitchen.

"There you two are! I went into your bedroom Ray and you weren't there. I thought you may have gone out foraging." It's Ambrosia. She is Rayners fiancée. She is kind, beautiful, tall with long dark hair, fair skin and absolutely nothing like me. I liked her enough. But I am not fond of many people so I didn't really fancy spending much time becoming friendly with her. It didn't help that every time I saw her, I imagined her slicing a fourteen year olds head off with a sword. She was the District 7 victor of the 68th Hunger Games at the age of eighteen. Those games were hell for Rayner. They were dating before she was shipped off. He had panic attacks for the four weeks her games went on for. It was awful.

"Good morning sweetie." He jumped up to embrace her. I turned away. I hate it when he is like this. It's nothing like his normal character but I don't question it because he is happy.

"Ready for the big day Johanna?" She chimes merrily. I feel the colour drain from my face. Rayner tenses up.

"Let's go Amb, Joh has a prior engagement." I look at him questioning. "Joh. Gaige. Remember." I can't say I did but I silently thanked him for excusing me.

"Oh yeah. Right. I will see you in a few hours." I replied heading for the door.

"Don't be late. Please." He added as I pulled on my jacket. I closed the door quickly behind me and walked barefoot across the forest plains. This wasn't an odd occurrence for me. I didn't like restrictiveness. Shoes were restrictive. I only really wore them at work and school. Because it was cold, my jacket was necessary. To be honest, I would prefer to work without clothing. Now obviously that isn't an option because it is considered unusual however, in my opinion, I work best without restrictions. Clothing gets in the way. I didn't really have a problem with nakedness for this exact reason.

Gaige lives on the other side of town. His house is small. His family is large and very poor. I try to forget these facts because it acts as a reminder that Gaige's name is in that stupid glass ball forty-nine times. It makes my few slips seem insignificant. It's not his fault he has to support a family of six at the age of eighteen. Even with his monthly wage as a lumberjack, they barely had enough to survive. His father was in an accident a few years back and is unable to work. His mother has to take care of him along with Gaige's younger siblings: Adrian, Elowen, Portia and Senne. Medical bills for his father are high and most of Gaige's money is spent on him and upkeep. To lessen the load on his mother, he signed up for tesserae at the age of twelve. The odds aren't in his favour. I feel the nerves inside of me so I quickly suppress my wandering thoughts and instead focus on the smells wafting from the early morning markets. Stews, herbs, and breads expel scents strong enough to make me salivate. I pull out my coin purse from my jacket pocket and toss a few coins toward a merchant selling a pastry that seemed to have berries cooked into the dough. This was a luxury I would usually avoid due to cost however, on days such as today a treat won't go astray. It's more for Gaige than myself. Mind you, he would have preferred the gold. It cost enough to feed my family for a week.

Holding the warm pastry in my hands, I move quickly toward the other side of town before I am tempted by any other market delights. Gaige has already chopped a small pile of fire wood outside the house by the time I arrive. He sets the axe down and smiles toward me when he sees the food in my hand. I tear it in two and chuck one half at his chest. He catches it with ease chuckling. We immediately start eating. It is perhaps the best thing I have ever tasted. Gaige's eyes roll back in his head. The sweet glaze and light pastry make the sorrows and fears of today disappear as the food does down my throat. I laugh at Gaige who is savouring every bite. I stand up, grab the axe and place the next piece of wood on the block. I raise the axe high in the air and with one swift movement; the wood is split in two.

"So, what is the plan for today?" I ask chucking another log onto the block.

"Oh you know something special. How about a fancy dining experience, we can dress in fancy frocks and imitate the Capitol with all the spare money I have lying around." He grins. "Or to avoid looking like idiots as the capitol often does, do you want to check out the woods?"

"Oh yay, I have never seen the woods before." I reply sarcastically. He laughs.

"You haven't seen this place, I assure you." I am actually quite curious. I thought I had explored all forestry areas in District 7 but he is implying that I haven't. I lay the axe down and look at him questioningly.

"Alright ranger, lead the way." His face lights up and he grabs my arm. I roll my eyes sarcastically.

The sunlight glittered in patches on the floor of the forest leaving the silhouettes of leaves imprinted on our faces and scattered around our feet. I loved the smell of the morning dew. At first I believe he is leading me to the river where I often go to find berries and herbs.

"Gaige, I can promise you, in the many years I have lived I have explored this forest high and wide."

"Would you just shut your over opinionated mouth and trust me" He looked back at her with a cheeky grin, the sun gleaming deep brown eyes. The forest floor has started to incline dramatically. As we begin to reach the top of the hill, Gaige has let go of my wrist because the bushes have thickened. We are approaching thick scrub that acts as a warning to those who approach. The district fence towers over it just meters past the other side where the hill reaches its peak. I hear the vibrant hum of electricity racing through the wire. Gaige stops suddenly looking back at me. He flicks his hair out of his eyes and presses one finger to his lip to keep me quiet while beckoning me closer with another. Confused, I do as I am told and stick close on his tail. He weaves with agility through the trees and then lies down and commando crawls under the thick scrub-made barrier. I follow, sliding down onto my stomach. I feel the dew soaking through my top. The bushes were low set to the ground making it difficult to find my way through. As the bushes loosened and parted so I could stand, I found myself staring at metal pallets covering the forest floor surrounding the fence that stretched ten meters in the air. I turned to question Gaige but he was already wandering along the fence line. I am questioning to where the Peacekeepers are but assume they must be guarding the gate for the arrival of our Escort. A shudder passes through my body as I supress the thought of our Escort, Angel Sissico – A stubbornly short woman who usually sported some sort of animal themed attire.

I shook my head and turned quickly to follow Gaige. I rarely approach the fence line and have never followed it this far down the forest. The ground begins to slope and the fence begins to rip away from the scrub line. I never noticed that this section even existed. There seemed to be a pocket in the fence. Gaige sped up down the slope, following the grassy path into the pocket. My jaw dropped slightly. At the bottom of the slope rested a small pond with enough length and depth to swim. A large tree that I wasn't able to distinguish lay on the far end of the pond. It littered purple flowers all over the vibrant green grass. It's trunk and thick branches stretched tall and wide across the sky. I felt the eyes of my friend on my face.

"It's called a Jacaranda." Said Gaige following my eye line.

"It's beautiful." I whispered. He laughed.

"Don't turn all mushy on me Johey." I glared at him. He grabbed my wrist again and led me to the tree. As I approached, I noticed carvings in the bark of the trunk. I stepped towards it, feeling the bark beneath my fingertips. There imprinted in the tree was Gaige's name along with many little line engravings. I counted them slowly. Forty-nine. The amount of times his name was in the bowl.

I turned to face him, eyes watering slightly.

"Look, we have to be honest Joh." He looked toward the ground. "The odds… they aren't in my favour." He looked up and stepped toward me taking my hands in his. "But no matter what, it's okay. I will be okay. I need you to promise me that even if I am chosen, no matter what you see, you will be okay too." I looked up at him and his eyes were watering too. I have never seen him emotional.

"Don't you go all mushy on me Gaigey." I mimicked jokingly. His eyes looked into mine pleadingly. "Gaige, you will not get chosen. Seriously. There are so many of us, and a fair amount of kids have tesserae. I feel confident for you." I decide not to tell him that my confidence in my chances was lacking in comparison.

"But say it isn't, just promise me you'll be oka-"

"Look, I'm not going to sit around all morning playing the 'what-if' game. So if that's why you brought me here…"

"I brought you here because if anything were to happen to me, I figured someone should know about this place." He let go of my hands and walked to the trunk of the tree, leaning his back against it before falling to the floor. He ran his hands through his hair. "Look, I am sorry. I just know with everything… "

"It's okay Gaige, seriously, I will be fine." I walked over and sat against the tree beside him. There was a moment of silence before I decided to change the subject. "So, how long have you known about this place? And with that fact, why have I not seen it sooner?" Gaige laughed, his black hair falling over his face.

"Well, it's kind of a funny story. I tried to run away before my first reaping."

"You what? And what made you think that was a plausible plan?" I said laughing.

"I figured no one would notice me just slipping away." I turned sharply toward him.

"I would." I stared intensely at him as he avoided my eyes.

"No you wouldn't have. Not then. It was right after…" He didn't have to continue. It was right after my mother's death. I was frustrated with the world, hauling my aggression with an axe. I had blocked everyone out of my life, including him. One day, he snapped, then I snapped and suddenly we were both on the floor wrestling in the middle of the forest. We both received the 'appropriate punishment' for disturbance of the peace. We were young, but not young enough to avoid the reaping. I remember attending with that swollen purple skin around my eye. That was the only reaping Gaige and I had been on bad terms. I look guiltily at the ground.

"Joh, it was forever ago. Stop stressing." He smiled warmly and I found myself smiling too. He looked up at the flowers that slowly fell around us.

"You know I remember the first day I met you." I laughed, so did I. We were seven years old but it is a pretty important memory to me. "We were sitting in the first class of our first day of school. The teacher was rambling some shit about trees. You shot up your hand to ask what I thought would be a know-it-all fact from a snotty nosed brat." I looked at Gaige and snorted.

"Well didn't I prove you wrong." We both laughed, knowing that I had been a little shit to that teacher from day dot.

"The first question you asked was – if I remember correctly – was what gave her the right to teach us about trees. I remember the whole class turned in shock to face you; her mouth was agape. She stammered about you being rude and to shut your mouth. And you just glared and said that her answer wasn't appropriate and that unless you were mistaken and she was in fact a tree, she didn't have the required knowledge to be our teacher." To be fair, I only stated this because my father had once said that the only way you can learn about trees, is to be in the forest.

"Yeah, well I suffered the consequences didn't I." I rubbed my cheek.

"Sure, as soon as she marched right up to you and slapped you across the face. Every child in that room held their breath, expecting you to burst into tears. Your cheek began to swell, but as it did, you did not break eye contact with her. You just glared firmly at her. Then you looked around, and God, I swear there was a brief second where our eyes met." I remember this moment clearly, his almost onyx eyes staring into my own. I looked him up and down and smirked. I am surprised he remembers that. "Then you just stood up, declared you were done, and left the classroom. The teacher ran after you yelling, and you just kept walking; marching across the field to the forest, the teacher trying to pull you back. That's when I knew."

"Knew what?"

"That we would be friends." I turned to look at him meeting his cheeky grin with one of my own.

"Yeah, load of good that did." I groan sarcastically. "Not only did I attract a useless being for a friend, but I also received my first lashing." I had received several lashings in my life; the first being on this day. I was a few metres into the forest when a peacekeeper grabbed my wrist. Thinking it was the teacher, I told him to go fuck himself. At which I found myself hauled over his shoulder. This was also the first time I met Matthew, the peacekeeper. My father had warned me they were dangerous people but at the time, he had also told me an axe could be dangerous so I thought nothing of it. Until I was dropped off his shoulder and whipped once across the back while I was on my knees. He cussed at me, and told me to beat it. The news spread to my father pretty quickly and he was furious. I never could tell who it was directed toward more: me or the peacekeepers. I wish I could say I had learnt from this experience, but now I was seventeen years old – and though some of the peacekeepers are affectionate enough with me, most still enforce their power leaving me with a back layered with scar tissue.

"Joh?" Gaige says snapping me out of my concentrated daze.

"Yeah, sorry, just thinking." He is staring intensely at me, so much so the tension begins to elevate.

"Joh… I." I beg him silently not to say it. He has told me he loved me before, and it didn't go well. I mean, I know he does. And in a way, I might love him to. Maybe if it were another time, another place. But he is just scared, so am I. There is no point following a possibility such as that at this time. I think he realises this to and defers his train of thought. "I.. I think we should fine." I look at him confusedly. "You know, today." I feel odd. I had almost forgotten about the reaping. But I think it's his optimism that has surprised me the most. He senses this and continues. "You know, we are strong. We have survived a lot worse." We both know it's a lie; we most certainly have not survived something more horrific than The Hunger Games. But we pretend he is telling the truth for this moment.

"Yeah. Yes." I say confidently. I take my eyes of his and look at the lake. Without thinking I stand and walk to squelch my feet in the thick mud that joins the pond to the surrounding grass. I feel his shadow behind me. A shiver passes through my body but is halted and the warmth of his hand seeps into mine as he intertwines his fingers with my own. I don't try to resist. He turns me around and pulls me into a hug. I press the side of my cheek into his chest. He wraps his arms firmly around me and places his chin on the top of my head. My thoughts drift to Leiah; this must be what she meant about taking in someone's smell. He smelt like… home. Warmth spread through my body as we held onto each other tightly. I didn't want to leave that moment; but before we knew it, the faint noise of the speaker system rung in the distance announcing it would soon be time for the choosing ceremony. I felt Gaige sigh. I dropped my hands and he grasped one of them tenderly and silently turned to lead us away. Away from the false sense of security; the purple flowers, the soft dirt, and the warmth of each other's embrace. Once again, I was reminded how stupidly insignificant we are to the districts, and how nothing we do could change the events that would soon occur. We were alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Long time; no writing. But hell, who needs University right? Give it a review, might make me wanna write more.**

We didn't say a word the entire trip to the waiting area. I felt his hand loosen around mine and dread formed like a ball in the pit of my stomach. As we cross over the final gravelly hill, I see the stream of kids; half of which I swear I have never seen before in my life. There is a separate gate for male potential tributes and female potential tributes. I say potential tributes as the truth is, the number of kids that attend the ceremony are pre-selected; the others watch from their television sets in the comfort of their home and family; that's compulsory for those who don't attend. Unfortunately, none of my family have been so lucky to avoid this unforgiving process. Gaige has not been so privileged either. Saying that, there are usually between one and two thousand that cram into the tight enclosed space that is the town square. I see one girl screaming and crying as the peacekeepers drag her away from her sisters and into the fenced off area. She can't be more than twelve. As she is pulled around the corner, her sister – it seems her twin – collapses to the floor hyperventilating. The 'one downside' to this process is that half the time, people who are elected not to attend the ceremony can be relatives to others who do. Therefore, there have been cases where family members or friends who may have opted to volunteer unfortunately don't have the chance leaving devastated families and deceased loved ones. This happened to one of my father's friends as a child. He doesn't speak of it often, but I remember Rayner telling me something when I was thirteen on the anniversary of his childhood friends' death. Apparently they were close and they had made a pact to volunteer if the other got chosen but my father was elected to remain at home. That's all I heard before my father entered the room and Rayner quickly brought the conversation to a halt.

"Joh?" I turn my head quickly to see Gaige staring at me. My hand must have clenched around his subconsciously. I look back at the girl whose mother is now trying to pull her up while still cradling a screaming newborn in her arms. I look back at Gaige and release his hand. He tries to give me a warm smile but it is too forced and comes out pained.

"We had better…" he trailed off. We both look at the gates where the peacekeepers are taking blood samples from each child destined to pass through the gates. I swallow and nod. "It'll be okay Joh, I will see you soon, alright?" He turns leaving me with my arms hanging limply by my side. He looks around at me once before passing through the gate, giving me a sarcastic wave. A smile gently creeps onto my lips. However, it feels foreign knowing the horror we are soon to face. I turn to line up for the gate. As I approach the desk I notice who is behind it – Theodosius. My skin crawls slightly at the sound of his voice.

"Hey gorgeous. Haven't seen your kind round for a while." He winks seductively and it makes me sick. He is only about twenty years old and relatively good looking but it really couldn't matter less to me. The first time I met him, he thought I was a hooker despite the axe in my hands. It was last year but I can remember the smell of his drunken breath like it was yesterday. He was a harsh punisher. In fact, if I weren't me, he could have possibly killed me by now. He keeps letting me off lightly for my behaviour in the hope I might one day not reject his propositions. I'm glad he didn't see me with Gaige as he looks for any reason to punish him for no other reason except that we are friends.

"Hi Theo." I say shortly holding out my hand abruptly so he can take my blood sample. He grins and does so aggressively. I hate blood. I hate its thick red colour. I hate the metallic taste that fills your mouth when you chew too hard on the inside of your cheek. I hate the way the Capitol hungers constantly for it. I watch it form on my skin before he presses my finger onto the square imprinted with my name. I turn to leave but he grabs my wrist.

"Good luck today. Wouldn't want that pretty face to get scratched up, would we?" I pull my hand from his grasp and turn sharply to leave. The peacekeepers watch me pass into the girl's area. No families are allowed to come watch the reaping due to the lack of space in the town square. However, there are mass screens set up in the fields that many people watch the ceremony on. On the occasion that someone from your household is chosen as tribute, there are assigned places where families and friends gather before being escorted by peacekeepers to the town hall. Generally, families of the children attending the ceremonies watch on the screens in the field so they may rush to their tributes side when there name is called. It pains me to know right now Leiah is swamped in a crowd of desperate families. I picture my father holding her hand, leading her through the cattle-like people. My own hand feels empty at this thought. I suddenly long for Gaige's comfort as my mind isn't prepared to offer me any source of clarity or serenity. I search for his face in the crowd but I am too small and the sea of people is far too substantial. Instead, to distract myself I focus solely on deciding what the possibility is of Angel Sissico sporting an outfit made of otters this year. I decide it's quite plausible.

Only fifteen minutes pass before our Mayor, Vanessa Mornington, crosses onto the stage but I could swear it was an eternity. Her loud footfalls against the stage floor echoed over the crowd sending everyone into a still stiff silence. She tapped the mic as if to get the crowds attention not realising how unnecessary it was as every set of eyes was trailing her every movement.

"Welcome all, to the choosing ceremony of the 71st hunger games." Her rough gravelly voice reverberates throughout the space. I look around the crowd one last time before realising that all search for Gaige was rendered useless by my inability to see over the sea of people. "I know we all anxiously wait for this year's games and whatever attributes the new game makers install to make their mark on this historical event."

Out of our seven district victors – Vanessa Mornington was perhaps the one with the most bloodlust. She is the victor from 7 to have volunteered for the games and her role in the games was well received by the members of the Capitol. Her signature kill left me with nightmares; she would puncture their tracheal leaving them gasping for air as she removed her limbs until they suffocated. Though victors are supposedly meant to retire after their games, Vanessa was rumoured to have a special sort of relationship with President Snow. A few years ago, a rebellious group within the merchant traders began to form. They thought they were undercover; that no one knew what they are up to. However, word got to Snow and as it did – Vanessa Mornington was instated Mayor of District 7. Two weeks later, each member of the rebellious group began to disappear. At first no one took notice but several days in, people began to get suspicious. I remember the rumours flying around. One day, I came home from school and told my father that I overheard the teacher speaking in rushed whispers about them escaping - saying that they had ran away from the district .He had this dark look on his face as he said he didn't think it was that simple. The next day, he was at work – doing perimeter checks on the forestry line to ensure no trees would get in the way of the logging group. That's when he found the two bodies of the men who disappeared. The peacekeepers announced it was an unfortunate incident where an animal had somehow got through the fence however my father told me that there was no way an animal would have left puncture wounds in their throat and ripped them limb from limb.

It took me a second to realise that the Capitol's video on the Dark Day's was starting after I had snapped out of my daze. I was only brought back to my senses by a hand touching my own. I look up shocked. A figure stands next to me belonging to someone much taller than myself.

"Janison?" I query in a hushed voice. He holds a finger up to lips instructing me to be quiet. The Capitol video begins to get very loud as the anthem is sounded throughout the square and as it does, everyone turns to look at the screen. As they do, Janison pulls me to the floor.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I say.

"Just shut up and listen. I'm sorry Joh. First of all, where were you?" I look at him incariously, "today, you were meant to stop by the house." _Ah shit. _ I am filled with guilt. I forgot. I look at the ground.

"Sorry."

"I know. It's okay. Secondly, I got in through the gates because a Sarah, one of the newer peacekeepers owes me a favour and was manning this gate." I was confused at how he had crossed into such a restricted zone. "Thirdly, no matter what happens, please promise me you will fight." I look confusedly at him but when his eyes meet mine, I can tell he is serious.

"I don't understand…"

"Joh, I'm sorry but I heard rumours. I think the draw may be rigged." I can hear my heartbeat in my throat.

"But that makes no sense, even if it were, what have I done wrong?"

"Nothing, but I have." He looks back toward the stage and I realise how devastated and defeated he seems to be.

"Jani, whatever you have done, it's going to be okay." He starts to cry; tears are silently pouring down his face. My brothers are the toughest people I know; I have never seen him behave this way.

"No Joh, I don't think it is. I wanted to tell you sooner, I really did but Rayner and Dad begged me not to. They don't know if its true, it could just be rumours. But yesterday, everything went wrong. Joh I got involved with something I shouldn't have. Do you remember that group who went missing?" Thoughts of Vanessa Mornington flashed before my eyes, ripping throats, tearing flesh. I nodded grimly. He continued in a low hushed voice. "Well, I was part of that rebellion. It all just sounded so achievable in our heads. But the night the Peacekeepers were spying on one of the meetings, I was out in the woods. They didn't see me until I came back through, I thought I was safe after the disappearances. I told father and Rayner. They have been protecting me ever since, but recently something occurred and I got involved with another group that spoke of uprisings, and Theo found out. He always has had his suspicions about me and took out on me physically with beatings; but these days, he has a lot more swing with the higher council members. There was discussion, Sarah – the peacekeeper who let me in here - warned me there have been mutterings that he has it out for us – our family. Yesterday, there was a threat. Theo whipped me across the back while you were missing and screamed about how little we would have to be smiling about soon. I told the others and that's what they were discussing last night. They can't know I told you. I am so sorry. I am so sorry Joh."

My mind was racing, I felt like I was going to vomit, my eyes welled with tears. I was aware of my throat and the dryness of my tongue. This was so much to take in. I couldn't understand. Why tell me now? Why did I need to know? I felt terror. I felt the need to scream, and cry and laugh hysterically all at the same time. Is this what going insane felt like? I knew the Capitol was sick but surely Theo, and his sick lust for the pleasures of women could not throw a decision such as this. His comments from earlier flash in my head again. I am about to physically vomit when I feel my brothers' arms wrap tightly around me. I feel his tears roll on to my shoulders as his repeated apologies pound in my ears. I don't know how, but we are standing and my vision is hazy. I let one tear roll down my face just before every eye turns on to us as we hear the distorted Capitol accent announce my name echo over the still air.


End file.
